The Musical Fruit Edition

1. Bush: Fart noise. (interior monologue): "Ahhhhh."
   Powell (interior monologue): "Good Lord! What the f*ck is Cheney feeding him?!?"
   Rummy (interior monologue): "I think we've found the missing chemical weapons."
2. “George, what did I tell you about eating too much Chipotle….”
3. While Junior obliviously hummed the theme to "Hee Haw" aloud during the 'Dig-up-dirt-on-Kerry' meeting, Rummy silently chanted to the lord of darkness to grant him more evil powers.
4. Bush (interior monologue): Hey! I have a lip. Wow. Good stuff. What are we talking about again?
   Powell (interior monologue): If I have to sit next to Bush one more time, I swear to God I'm gonna freak out. I keep asking to be moved.
   Rummy (interior monologue): Stop cheating off my answers, Dubya! This is a high-stakes WMD Interrogation, not the SAT's, alright?
5. Powell: "I think George had eggs for breakfast."

Someone Had an "Accident" Edition

1. "I think I need to be changed."
2. The Secretary of Sell-out looks on as President Shrub called for a wet-nap after devouring the soul of the country with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
3. “And then I grabbed Sadaam around the waist and said, ‘you bad boy’ and then tickled him just like this.”