It's Not Unusual Edition

Tom Jones display the knighthood he received from Queen Elizabeth today, but thankfully had the good taste not to display the panties Her Majesty threw at him during the ceremony.

Breakdown Edition

President Bush threw a rod today while attempting to explain to reporters that Iraq was not on the verge of civil war.

Three Apples High Edition

Responding to questions from reporters today regarding his plans to address the loss of U.S. troops available to fight in Iraq due to attrition, President Bush responded, "Y'all remember Smurfs? Little fellers, 'bout yeah high?"

Army of Me Edition

1. "...and I swear to you, that one day soon the followers behind me and I will sweep aside this farce you call a trial and reclaim our place at the head of Iraq. Isn't that right, guys? Guys? Guys? Uh, by followers of course, I mean, this dude back here in the khakis. And those three ladies. And, uh, some other guy who seems to be back there too. Consider yourselves warned!"
2. "Can I get a witness?!? I said, CAN I GET A WITNESS?!?! No, seriously, I want to call a witness on my behalf."

Desperate Times Edtion

"Look, y'all, ah'm shakin' hands with a brown feller. Ain't that tolerant of me? That ain't the kind of thing a sub-40% approval rating President would do now, is it?"

Not in Kansas Anymore

"Goodbye, approval ratings! Goodbye, political capital! Oh, I'll miss you most of all, apathetic American voters!"

I'm Sari, SO Sari Edition

1. "So, uh, you ladies now where this here cowboy can get a nice thick juicy Ribeye?"
2. "Ya got a little red somethin' on yer forehead there...let me just get it with muh hanky."