Warning: Science Content Edition

1. "My fellow 'Mericans, I thought long and hard about whether or not I should veto this bill that would fund baby-killers, but I didn't want to make this a moral issue. So, after consulting with these nice folks here, who Karl says are the last 4 Americans that actually agree with mah policies and support me unconditionally, I remembered that I am the Decider and can do whatever I want. So the rest of y'all can suck it."
2. In yet another blatant bitch-slap to the face of logic, President Born-Again decided to protect hypothetically potential life of harvested embryos by limiting research funding which would undoubtedly help cure diseases that kill millions of actual real people each year. When asked for comment on this apparent dichotomy, Bush said, "Well, while I have some of the Indigo Girls' music, I just can't support their lifestyle choices."