Bush, responding to pressure from pollsters that he is not showing adequate concern for the deaths of American soldiers, attends the funeral of the brother of Robert Wakefield (shown) at Naval Air Station North Island. Rusty Wakefield died of congestive heart failure on Sunday.
....It really depends upon how our nation conducts itself in foreign policy. If we're an arrogant nation, they'll resent us.....but if we're a humble nation they'll respect us."
George W. Bush, October 11, 2000
1. "When yer President, like ah am, you have to make tough decisions. Like, how is we going to pay down our national debt? Well, I'm here to tell you. It'll take resolve. It'll take courage. It'll take remembering the sacrifice of the heroes of nine-eleven. But mostly it'll take cash. That's right, I'm talkin' money. Moo-lah. Dollar, dollar bills, y'all."
2. "I'm tellin yuh, I wuz this close - see how close my fingers are together? - this close to finding them Dubya-Em-Dees in that Eye-rack, until them Demmycrats started whining about Gitmo and Abu Gabi and hurtin' the troops!"
"So, this guy walks into a talent agent's office, and he says, 'Have I got an act for you!' The talent agent says to him, 'Well, what kinda act is it?' And the guy says, 'It's a family act. First, my daddy comes out on stage, right? And he picks up a phone and calls his powerful friends to get me nominated for the Presidency. Then my brother comes out, and he starts rigging the polls in his state so I can win by a slim margin. Then, after I'm President, I hire all muh daddy's old friends, and we decide to go to war against the Eye-rackis, since my daddy couldn't finish the job before. Now, in order to do this, we exploit the fears of the 'Merrican people, y'see, so they'll go 'long with what we want 'em to do. Only, it turns out that they don't have nuthin' to actually be afraid of. So then, we tell 'em that we're spreadin' democracy. I repeat a lot of things, like "Freedom's on the march" and "Nine-eleven," and at this point the audience is eatin' outta my hand, right? And then, when everybody starts to catch on, and starts questioning why things ain't turnin' out the way we told 'em, we tell everybody that there's no actual plan for getting out of Eye-rack, but we have to "stay the course!"' And the talent agent looks at the guy and says, 'Well, that's a hell of an act. What do you call it?' And the guy says, 'The Aristocrats!'"
1. In what has become an embarassingly common occurrence, President Bush was carefully scanned by the liberal media using sophisticated truth sensors commonly known as "bullshit detectors" before being allowed to make a statement in a brief appearance today.
2. Knowing the President's penchant for talking directly out of his ass, microphones were positioned on the 'D.L.' for optimal reception.
