Do You Like Gladiator Movies? Edition

Idaho Senator Larry Craig, in an effort to set the record "straight," spoke with reporters today from his Senate office. "Look, I am not gay, I have never been gay," the senator said, "I did nothing wrong at the Minneapolis airport. Because if checking out a fine piece of tail through the crack in the stall door for two minutes, then soliciting said tail through an elaborate system of luggage placement, foot taps, and hand gestures is wrong, then I don't wanna be right."

Miss South Carolina Edition

"Mr. President, recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?”
“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the US should help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”