So, So Wrong Edition

The family of Terry Schiavo released this photo today, evidently attempting to show that individuals in a persistent vegetative state can go on to lead healthy, productive lives.

Ma Bell Edition

My fellow Americans, I have tried and tried to make it work with the UN, but we're just not speaking out of the same page. If they can't see eye to ear with the American People, we are gonna hafta invade Iran. I mean Sudan. Which one are we mad at, it's Libya or Lebanon. One of those. But we'll do it and we'll have a good reason for it too!

Film At 11 Edition

Rice admits having sex with George W

Don't Panic Edition

1. “North Korea has nucular weapons? Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Why haven’t we heard anything about this before?!?!"
2. The White House today finally conceded that the significant petroleum dependency crisis poses serious problems, as the Führer himself seized up and threw a rod when it was determined he was running a couple quarts low.
3. Bobo the chimp does an impression of current president George W. Bush.