Focus, My Son Edition

1. “Whoah, that dude over there by the cameras is f’ed up! I know the feeling, bro, I was there just last nigh-, uh, I mean, back in ’86, ‘fore I stopped drinkin’.”
2. "Whoa. That guy looks like Peyton Manning. Hey wait, it IS Peyton Manning! You worried about your financial future too good buddy since you failed to nab that super bowl slot? Well, lemme tell you a thing or two about my social secur-eeetie plan..."

Ebony and Ivory Edition

1. “Don’t sass me, lady, I don’t wanna get all ‘Ike and Tina’ on you, now.”
2. "...side-by-side you're my amigo, knee-grow, let's not fight!"
3. "So, wait, your ancestors came over from Aferka and worked the Happy Times Tobacky Plantayshin? What a coincidence! My ancestors owned the Happy Times Tobacky Plantayshin!"

Talking Points Edition

1. “…nine-eleven, nine-eleven, freedom, nine-eleven, liberty, nine-eleven nine-eleven nine-eleven, democracy. Nine. Eleven.”
2. "Well, I'll tell y'all why I am opposed to these questions that...um, that I am not...uh, that I .... uh, may be unaware of the answers to. It is because I, like most of my remaining cabinet, remember well the lessons learned by those poor kids on "You Can't Do That on Television!" Let me be clear on this, as President, I will not tolerate being showered in green slime. No way."