Don't Panic Edition

1. “North Korea has nucular weapons? Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Why haven’t we heard anything about this before?!?!"
2. The White House today finally conceded that the significant petroleum dependency crisis poses serious problems, as the Führer himself seized up and threw a rod when it was determined he was running a couple quarts low.
3. Bobo the chimp does an impression of current president George W. Bush.