Full Mental Jacket Edition

1. "Holy dog shit. Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, President Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down."
2. "How tall are you, Private Cowboy?"
   "Sir, five-foot-nine, sir!"
   "Five-foot-nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high."
3. "You little scumbag! I got your name, I got your ass! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers, I will teach you! Now get up off your face! Pvt. Cowboy, you better unfuck yourself before I unscrew your head and shit down your neck!"
   "Sir, yes, sir!"
   "Private Cowboy, why did you join my beloved Corps?"
   "Sir, to kill, sir!"
   "So you're a killer?"
   "Sir, yes, sir!"
   "Then let me see your war face!"
   [nervously] "Sir?"
   "You got a war face! ARRRRRRRRRGH! That's a war face, let me see your war face!"
   "Ahhhh!"
   "Bullshit, you didn't convince me, let me see your REAL war face!"
   "Ahhhhhh!"
   "You still don't scare me! Work on it!"
   "Sir, yes sir!"
4. "Oh that's right, Private Cowboy, don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the fucking obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?"