Historical Throwback Edition

1. "What's that? You mean I can lose my qualifiedication to fly this durn plane, not show up for darn-near two years, snort all the coke I want, have my dad get me into Harvard Business School after he got me through Yale with a C average and his buddies pulled strings to get me into the Guard and still be President? And when I run for reelection, all sorts of 'evidence' and 'facts' will come out about how I shirkified my responsimabilities but everyone will still want to vote for me? Well, f@#& this, then, let's party!"
2. People like me. Mamma said so.