How Do You Spell Relief? Edition

Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff met with reporters today to further clarify his "gut feeling" that Al-Qaeda was poised to attack the U.S. again later this summer. "I just want to let everyone know that my announcement the other day, while not based on any intelligence or evidence, was absolutely based on the fact that I judged the Department of Homeland Security's Annual Chili Cook-Off the day before. After a few days of popping antacid tablets and some heavy-duty fiber, I am feeling much better now. Sorry for any irrational fear I may have caused. We at the Department of Homeland Security will now be returning to our very important jobs of not securing our nation's ports, airports, borders, postal system, customs inspection stations, interstate highways and bike paths."