Through A Scanner Darkly Edition

Preparations for John McCain's acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention shifted into high gear Thursday as a local homeless man was brought in to ensure that the Republicans' reality distortion filter was polished to a high sheen.  After a few minutes of work, he was asked what he thought of the Republicans' economic policy and replied, "I really think they have the best interests of me and other working Americans in mind."  He was then given a rifle and shipped to the Middle East to defend freedom.