Empire Strikes Back Edition

1. President Shrub explains his plan to encase all children in frozen carbonate like Han Solo and unfreeze them when, in his own words, "the dern deficit isn't like, 7 Gazillion bucks."
2. "Now, son, what can I do to get you to leave here today with this here education plan? Tell you what, my manager ain't gonna like this, but I'll throw in a set of whitewalls for ya, no charge."