Survival of the Fittest Edition

1. Bush the elder listened catatonically as the choosen symbol of freedom and democracy sized the old bastard up, debating silently to itself whether or not it could actually carry the Ex-Vice President's body weight in its talons back to the nest.
2. Bush 41 demonstrated a new Eagle-to-human translator unit, a device zoologists promise will give us new insight into the thoughts of our great national symbol. According to official transcripts, the bird's first words to the ex-President were, "Let me tell you why 'No Child Left Behind' is a crock of shit...."
3. "Look, George Junior, when I say you need to 'vet' your town hall meetings for receptive participants, I didn't mean they should be borrowed from a veterinarian."
4. "Sqquuaaaaaawwwwwwwwkkkkk!"
   "Yes, your habitat is indeed in danger thanks to my son's policies."
   "Reeeaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkk!"
   "You could, but I think the Secret Service might have something to say about that."
   "Kaaaaaawwwwwwaaakkk!"
   "Yes, you are on the *old* quarters, but frankly I don't think my boy likes animals very much."