You Have Failed Me For The Last Time Edition

Vice President Dick Cheney returned to his secure undisclosed location today, following a brief hospitalization due to breathing difficulties. Mr. Cheney, who has suffered from a variety of health problems during his time in office, was outfitted by doctors with an experimental suit that will regulate all of his bodily functions, enabling him to continue the vital work of defrauding the American people and enriching his former company, Halliburton. Asked by reporters as he exited the hospital if he thought the appearance of the suit belied a joke at his expense by his doctors, the Vice President responded, "NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!!!!!!! Now go f*** yourself."