30 Ought 6 Edition

1. One day after the House Republicans issued a new party rule requiring the wearing of high-visibility orange vests while on the House floor, Vice President Dick Cheney was spotted carrying a hunting rifle and heading for a blind he had constructed in the House gallery. When asked what he was doing, the Vice President responded with a trademark, "Go fuck yourself!" The Vice President's spokesman later informed the press that the Vice President was merely observing the House's debate on the Terrorist Surveillance Program and was expected to be actively involved in answering Democratic challenges to the program.
   
2. Dick "12-Gauge" Cheney is seen here entering the new House 'Shooting' Gallery for some much needed target practice. When pressed on the subject, the Vice President equated his not having a permit for hunting "upland game birds" in Texas to not really being elected to public office by the voice of the people. Later, upon hearing that his intended victim, Harry Whittington (the 78-yr old Republican lawyer who contrary to Scott McClellan's initial comments, looks nothing at all like a "really big quail") had suffered a heart attack while receiving care for the botched murder attempt, old 12-Gauge asked the Whittington family for forgiveness in his special way by saying, "Go F#$K yourselves!"