Kung Fu Grip Edition

1. "I can CA-RA-TAY this here podium in two, you wanna bet?" pulled Junior as he addressed the League of Sniveling Warmongering Hawks.
2. "Now, I've ordered the Pentagon to begin research on why our American soldiers do not appear to have the Kung-Fu Grip, like so, of their action figure counterparts. And I want to assure the American people that I will get to the bottom of this important question."
3. "I want to reach out and touch the breas-, er, lives, of women voters, much like my good friend, Gov. Shavingrazor, has done in California."
4. "And this one time I was at a party, and we had a pile of blow, like, yea high..." A horrified aide runs out to the podium and whispers in Bush's ear. "But that's neither here nor...uh, somewhere else. Now, as I was saying, we have got to keep drugs off the streets."
5. “You put your left hand in, - now what?”