End of Days Edition

1. "See, we need the Israel-ees there in that shithole when my god comes down and kicks butt on all you liberal sinners. That's what the good book says, or so I've been told."
2. “It was this guy, right here! He's the one who screwed everything up, not me! In fact, uh, I told the CIA to arrest him and they wouldn't do it! Isn't that right, uh, say, pardner, what was yer name agin?”