Soooooooooooouullllll Train Edition

1. "You put your left hand in and you shake it all about..." Governor Shrub pulled as he unveiled his administration's latest efforts to quell unrest among this election year's swing Republican voters: specifically white people who stand in front of big blue signs.
2. Reports that Pres. Shrub has a body double for important events such as this hog-calling competition were confirmed; furthermore, it is now believed that the double is none other than Eminem, the rap-artist famous for using ethnic slurs as his only means of communication. Indeed, many have a hard time telling the difference between the two.
3. You do the hip hop the hibby to the hibby the hip-hip hop and you don't stop a-rockin' to the bang-bang boogie said up-jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogity-beat.