You Can't Handle the Truth Edition

1. Lawyer: "Mr. Hussein, can you remember who sold you the weapons you used to commit the crimes against humanity you are on trial for?"
   Saddam: "Yes, I can."
   Lawyer: "Is that person in the courtroom today?"
   Saddam: "Yes."
   Lawyer: "Could you please point that person out for the court?"
   Saddam: "He's right over there."
   Lawyer: "Let the record show that Mr. Hussein pointed out Donald Rumsfeld."
2. Lawyer: "Mr. Hussein, if you could just take us back to your thoughts at that time...."
   Saddam: "I'm sorry, you lost me there. Are you talking about the time I gassed my own people, or the time Karl Rove called to tell me Valerie Plame was in the CIA?"
3. The Iraqi courtroom where the 'Butcher of Baghdad' is being tried was cleared when the judge failed to bring the gathered throng to order after Mr. Hussein filed for a mistrial on the grounds that he was not allowed his first choice in legal representation. The ousted dictator's claim that the CIA gave Johnny Cochran that lethal brain tumor is considered by many to be merely a delay tactic, although a really damn good one.