President Shrub recently proposed, drafted and approved legislation all his own to legalize polygamy in the U.S. and then made a surprise power move by wedding long-time maid at the Crawford, TX family ranch, Consuelo Martinez Gonzales Bush, in a small ceremony that included first zombie-wife Laura as maid of honor. Everyone in attendance was given souvenir welding goggles to wear while cooking their very own side of ranch-fed liberal for supper over the open flames of decency and goodness.
President Bush, worried about potential injury from accusations he expects to be hurled at him during the upcoming campaign season, today modeled the latest in safety glasses technology. The President, seen here with Saf-T-Specs, Inc., plant manager Conchita O'Hoolihan, told reporters, "If John Kerr-uh thinks he can hurl accusations at me during the campaign, I'm going to be ready for him." When the assembled press tried to explain to the President that Senator Kerry would not literally be throwing things at his head as accusations were just speech, President Bush looked momentarily confused and was then distracted by the glint of the plant's fluorescent lighting off the shiny pen of a reporter in the front row.
"Yoko and I will be wearing these glasses for world peace, man, and if you don't like it that's just your bourgeois mentality that the Man has brainwashed you with."
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