Who You Callin' Puppet? Edition

1. Governor Shrub grimaces as Vice-Fuhrer Cheney completes yet another pre-press conference ritual that has become the cornerstone of their administration by shoving his hand all the way up his puppet's warmongering oil-grubbing monkey ass.
2. Bush: "Frankly, I don't understand the Amurrican people's continued belief in these shadowy figures hovering over the left shoulder of mah presidency. I am not a puppet, I am not controlled by sinister corporate forces, I make mah own decisions. Why, just the other day I had this great idea to git a bunch of Vietnam vets and have 'em make this commercial about how John Kerry was lyin' about his service in Viet--"
   Cheney: "This press conference is over, ladies and gentlemen. Please disregard everything the President has just said."
   Bush: "Why Dick, I didn't see you standing back there. I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, I git a little carried away sometimes. I'll do better next time, Dick, just don't put me in the Quiet Room agin."
   Cheney: "Shut up, you idiot, unless you want to choke on a pretzel again!"