Let it Snow, Let it Snow Edition

1. "Glow-ball Warning, my ass!" mocked Junior as he waved his nearly frozen hand after packing several snowballs and hurling them at stupified reporters who questioned the administration's failure to yet again join the rest of the universe in extending the Kyoto Agreement through 2012.
2. "Forecast for the White House tonight: blizzard warning with a 100% chance of snow. It's gonna be a White Christmas, y'all. Yee-haw!" shouted President Bush to reporters as he left to tour the DEA's seized drug storage facility.
3. "I sent a million holiday cards this year, an' yeah, I'muh Christian and I love Jesus and I know who got me in the White House, but damn, you gripers, there are like, 5 religions in the US and I cain't afford to alienize any wunna them by puttin 'Murry Christmas' on muh cards! Have you seen my numbers? They look like my hand!"