Not Torture Per Se Edition

1. The US denied reports in the European media today that it had held terrorism suspects in secret European prisons for the purposes of torturing them. Vice President Dick Cheney, responding to reports that this photo of Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice was shown to detainees to induce them to talk, called the accusations, "Retarded. Now go f*** yourself."
2. “Who, us? Torture people? We’d never do anything like that. This is the great land that welcomes people…this is America!” Responded Secretary Rice. Aside to Secret Service agent: ”Who is that reporter? Get their name and let’s give them a trip to the salt pit.”