Hell Freezes Over Edition

1. Mere seconds after uttering the phrase, "I take responsibility," Junior was shocked and awed to look down and observe that the POTUS' anal-dwelling-butt-monkeys were indeed real and could actually fly.
2. "...and I take responsibilit-, sorry folks, I ain't got my glasses on me. For a second there I thought this here script said I was takin' responsibility for the federal hurricane response, which, as we all know, is impossible. Seein' as I'm busy spreading freedom and democracy. Nine-eleven."
3. President Bush attempts to overcome his body's natural resistance to take responsibility for the slow federal response to Hurricane Katrina. The Surgeon General later issued a statement that the President's revulsion to the words "I take responsibility" was perfectly natural, as (to anyone's knowledge) this is the first time in his entire life that the President has taken responsibility for anything.