My Baloney has a First Name Edition

1. Sandwiched between inept confusion and blatant contempt, Junior attempted to explain why 'Hogan Knows Best' on VH1 was consistently receiving higher ratings than his sham of a presidency over the past month. "I think it's that ther doo-rag," puled the Shrub.
2. Arbusto: "...so like I was saying, I want to assurify the peoples of New Orderlins that my administrayshun will do everything in its power to assessimate the situation on the ground and provide whatever assistances should be necessitated."
   Clinton: "Good lord. How the hell did we lose to this retard twice? At least he's finally passed my highest disapproval ratings. Maybe Hillary will let me be her running mate in '08. The Vice President would sure have a lot of time for chasin' tail."
   Bush Sr.: "I think I have something stuck in my dentures."
   
3. As the cool light of CNN glowed on Al Gore's face, he took another grateful bite of Crunch and Munch and changed the channel to the Ali G show.