Leadership 101 Edition

1. "Now, as I mentioned earlier, I'll personally be leading an investigation to show that mah administration has done nothing wrong in our handling of this natural disaster. And to any critics of my administration who might think that we are somehow responsible, let me just say this: 'Yer either with us, or yer with the hurricane.'"
   
2. "I would like to take this opportunitation, to personally thank this shadowy 'Katrina' person for closing down Bourbon Street indefinitely. Man, when I think of Jenna and uh, the other one, down tha for that Mardi Gras, catching those beads and carryin' on, ohhhh, George is getting very upset!"
3. President Bush attempts to explain to the foreign press that the United States is not, in fact, ruled by a weak-willed marionette surrounded on both sides by shadowy puppet masters, as Vice President Cheney and Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld look on and nod approvingly.